No One Should Know [1]

[amnos_oh_mi_ya]

Pairing: Sakurai Sho/Aiba Masaki; Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari (slightly)
Rating: PG-13
Lenght: one shot (2 parts)

A man in suits was walking through a long hallway belonging to one of the best companies of Japan. His hair perfectly cut and brushed, his face showing his best appearance, a briefcase in his hand which is totally care with his nails brightening, a suit which costed too much money and a pair of black shoes which their sole produced a rhythmic sound against the floor.

He was greeting all the people he saw with a smile and a slight bow. His perfect work allowed him to climb up in the company swiftly in a few years he had stayed there. His boss admired all the achievements he got by working hard and dedicating his life to his job but also to the beginning of a family.
He would get married with a perfect woman, beauty and who worked in other of the most successful companies of the industry, with a rich family and loving for everyone, his family and friends told him that he was the luckiest man of the world.
His life brightened with radiant and a perfect future was waiting for him, he worked so hard to get that and be the perfect son who his parents wished, he wanted that they would be proud of him as long as they lived.

He thought that he was happy like that, being perfect in others’ eyes, being successful in all his duties, being the person who everybody wished to be. But inside him, his heart did not beat with excitement, but only to survive.

Only he knew how he was working and working like a robot no mattering how tired he was; how he was trying to love his fiancée at who met through an omiai prepared by both parents to interconnect their business; how he was forced to smile everyone even if he did not like them or he just did not want; how he was paying the price of living the perfect life.

Nobody could imagine that he was so alone without almost true friends, that he only had 4 friends who did not leave him when he had to quit of the company of entertainment in which he did shows, dances and songs. He wanted to keep in but his parents did not allow him and forced him to join the Keio University.
In consequence, all in the company turned their back on and only 4 boys who quitted after stayed with him understanding his feelings and supporting him in all he did. It was hard to meet them when they lived far away from each other and they had their own job and even a family to take care but they were in contact and met almost one time every month.

Sakurai Sho was so excited this time because he would give them the wedding’s invitations. He hoped that they could go, even if his family couldn’t, he wouldn’t mind as much as if his friends couldn’t come.His hands were squeezing them tightly full of nerves as he waited in front the bridge where they usually went when they were so young. In the distance, he could see the oldest of the 5 of them waving his hand to greet him with a smile in his face happy to meet again.

“Satoshi-kun, nice to see you again!” the man greeted his friend with a hug feeling again that strange happiness which only appeared when he was with them.

“Nice to see you too, Sho-chan!” the 36-years-old man smiled with brightness in his eyes. Soon after, while they were chatting, they saw a cool man walking to them.

“MatsuJun!” both shouted with one voice and he took off his sunglasses and revealed a perfect smile as he greeted them. Satoshi and Jun were always so good friends since they met for first time. Sho could remember how he helped them with their homework.

Little by little, Sho started to feel alive again. How his heart was beating full of excitement and happiness wanting to spend a long day with his friends. By the other path, a 33-years-old man appeared greeting them shouting with his high-pitched voice as always.

“Ohayou, minna!” he grabbed with his both arms the necks of Sho and Jun placing himself between them, his typical smile in his face.

“You’re late! I was waiting for you in the parking” Satoshi complained pouting with his cute face to Kazunari who was looking at him lovely.

“I’m sorry, something happened in the way” Sho just stared at them realizing that nothing had changed in all these years. “Nee, is Aiba late again? I’m going to kick him if he doesn’t appear in five minutes” everyone started to laugh thanks to his complaint. Then, it was when Sho realized how much he wanted to see his best friend again, he felt full by his side because he could be himself without worrying about fulfil the others’ expectations.

Immerse in his thoughts, he did not notice how a tall man wrapped his body with his long arms and put his chin over Sho’s shoulder while their cheeks were touching each other. Sho started to smile and hit his head against his friend’s making him laugh.

“Masaki-kun!” everybody greeted him and he hugged one by one after a long time without seeing them because he had to be out of Tokyo for 4 months working hard to finish his 5^th photo album.Sho just stared at him like if he was seeing the most brilliant star in front of him. It was really fresh to have the 5 of them together again because without Masaki was different.

“Should we go for drinks?” Sho asked them and they accepted being in a good atmosphere. He was very nervous because he had to give them the invitations and he had to tell Masaki that he was going to marry his girlfriend. The rest was told 2 months ago and they asked him to tell Masaki in person, Sho did not understand why but he just accepted.

When they came in a bar seating on a table near a corner to talk relaxed drinking some beers and having fun together again. Sho did not find the chance to tell them so before he could, they talk about how the art school of Satoshi was a success; how Kazunari was directing a film by himself for his first time; how Jun had been father of a cute girl for 2^nd time showing them photos and videos; and how Masaki was on a lot of countries travelling during this 4 months no stopping anytime. Finally, they asked Sho who was trying to find the words to tell Masaki and give the invitations, he was almost sweating because of the nerves but he found his guts to do it.

“Masaki-kun, they already know it but I’ll marry my girlfriend in 2 weeks” for an instant, Aiba’s gaze darkened and his smile disappeared, but he regained his composure quickly.

“That’s so good news! Congratulations!” he patted Sho’s shoulder but inside of him, he felt his touch so cold and forced, his eyes did not bright like always and his voice was lower than before.

“So, I want to give you my wedding’s invitations” 4 letters were emerged from his briefcase and each of them had a name of his friends wrote over the paper. He distributed them to everyone around the table and the letters were opened to reveal a crimson paper with a text wrote in an elegant writing. “I hope you’ll can come because you’re busy lastly” Sho showed his fear and Satoshi and Kazunari accepted immediately. Jun asked him if he could bring his two children and Sakurai nodded wanting to meet the two beautiful creatures who had Jun so busy and happy. Masaki kept his look rereading the letter over and over again not joining the conversation as Sho was worried about his friend.

“I had to confirm it because maybe I will have to travel to Australia” Aiba said powerless but forcing a smile as Sho just nodded wanting to not push him to come even if he was the only who Sho wanted to be there.

Also, his friends did not say anything but they could feel that something was happening between them. Like always, their painful glances appeared, their words disappeared and they started to be distance. Ohno and Nino looked each other not knowing what to do while Jun was trying to start a new conversation talking of his 2 daughters.

Sho was fighting inside of him because a pain was created in his heart when Aiba left his happiness away putting a dark expression if he was feeling the worst person in this world. He wanted to embrace him tightly and ask him what was happening but he became a coward a lot of years ago when he had followed his parents’ instructions.

“Satoshi and I want to say something” Kazunari intervened in the conversation between Sho and Jun. When both looked at them, they could see how the couple had their hands caught, it was strange because they stopped to do that since they left the company and Ohmiya SK disappeared.

“The truth is that we are together for 1 year ago” the 3 exclaimed surprised. The couple could not stop from smiling and they seemed so relieved. “I wanted to tell you as soon as possible but Kazu wanted to wait because maybe our relationship would not last, so I accepted” Satoshi looked to Kazunari with happiness in his eyes and his partner started to flush, which was so rare because Kazunari was always so outgoing and they could see him like that counted times.

“Why wouldn’t your relationship last?” Sho asked interested for some reason and both made a bittersweet smile.

“You know how the society accepts a gay couple… We were so afraid that our families could even hate us. Fortunately, they accepted us perfectly and well, we can see that you too, so thank you guys” they made a slight bow and Sho just nodded realizing that they were able to fight against the fear which was produced for the society’s rejection, thing that he could not do.

Suddenly, a smile was reflected in Aiba’s face and he excused himself to go to toilet as he stood up and left the table. The 4 were worried about his behaviour but no one knew what to do because it was so unusual to see Aiba like that. Something woke up inside of Sho and he told them that he was going to talk to him to find out what was happening to him.He walked to the toilet as a fear hurt his stomach like if something was squeezing it tightly. His arm pushed the door in order to open it and he found a man leaned on the sink with his head looking down.

“Masaki-kun…” Sho called him and he looked up swiftly if he was in a trouble. Their gazes made contact and they realized how their friendship had changed.

“Why are you going to marry that woman?” his words spat from his mouth as his voice sounded broken. Sho was amazed seeing how his best friend was jealous for some reason he could not understand yet.

“Why are you asking me that?” Sakurai started to be disturbed, he did not wanted to hear the mistake he was going to do marrying that woman and even less from Aiba.

“Because you don’t love her. I really don’t know why you are trying so hard to be perfect even when you has a lot of imperfections which I…” Aiba stopped abruptly swallowing scared of talking more than he wanted.

“Which you what? I’m trying nothing, you understand nothing. Why are you like that?” Sho was attempting to hide his furious but it was in vain, this fight was killing him like a knife in his heart. He could see how Aiba was shivering and a tear fell from his right eye.

“Even if you always wanted to please everyone around you, you didn’t do it for others, you did it for yourself, for being accepted for everybody. You are the most selfish person that I could meet” he said in a whisper. Sho wanted to reply, to stop him when Masaki walked by his side to leave the toilet, to tell him the truth but his coward was dominating him, his fears appeared again destroying his mind slowly, like if it was torturing him in a maze from where he could not get out.
Sho was still fighting with himself and with his feelings. He never appraised his best friend in all these years and he realized how he needed him by his side, his smile, his voice telling that everything would be okay; but he was stupid and he lost him because he never took care of Masaki.
In his mind, there were only memories of the 2 of them playing, talking during hours, crying together, hugging each other. Nevertheless one moment was echoing in his head making him to understand Aiba’s feelings for first time.

Sho came out from the toilet and approached the table to see that Masaki was not there and his stuffs either. His 3 friends stared at him asking with their gazes.

“Where is Masaki-kun?” now he only could think in him. He could not try to explain their situation if all was not clear yet.

“He went away. He was crying and I followed him outside to ask what happened, he only shouted me and I froze, I never saw him like that” Ohno told Sho almost disturbed with both for being so stubborn and selfish.

“Sho-chan, he really hated the idea that you could marry a woman you didn’t love someday, try to give him some time to accept it” Ninomiya explained calmed but so worried for his best friend. Ohno noticed it and grabbed his hand tightly. That action annoyed so much Sho with no reason and he flew of his handles.

“I love her, okay? Stop from getting into my life” he almost shouted them and left the bar needing some fresh air. He never hated himself so much until that day but he did not stop of asking himself why he was so disturbed with his friends.

He reached his house regretfully and searched for his keys. When the door was opened, he could hear steps approaching him fast and a woman appeared in front of him. She was beautiful, with long, brown hair, 2 radiant eyes, thin and a bit shorter than him.

“Okaeri, darling!” the woman greeted him with a brilliant smile and Sho just forced one because he did not want to explain her what happened, he did not want to talk her in that moment.

“Tadaima…” he muttered to be polite but he removed his shoes and went to the bedroom wanting to sleep and forget all.

“Nee, darling… Can we have fun tonight…?” the woman seated by his side closer and her hand rubbed his thigh provoked. Sho pulled it aside being so surly.

“I told you that my family is so conservative and I don’t want it after getting married” he just excused himself with a lie like always. “I want to sleep, today was hard” he started to undress and put his pyjamas. The woman apologized and got out from the room as he laid down onto the bed. Every time he closed his eyes, Masaki appeared in front of him crying and shivering. When he got to be sleep, it became a dream and Masaki complained him over and over as he tried to catch his friend no successful.

The days passed and his nightmares did not stop any night. He tried to call him but Masaki just hung up. Then he was calling the others but Ninomiya was so angry with him since the last time that he hung him up too. Ohno talked to him coldly to find a solution but Ohno ended jaded to only hear excuses and he stopped to pick up his calls. Jun was attempting to understand his situation but like Ohno, he only heard excuses over and over so he said him directly that everyone was already tired of him.

Being alone, without a person to call, feeling worse than a shit and wanting to die in that moment, he just went to work being a mess and doing all badly. His boss was worried because it was odd in him and Sho only replied putting the wedding like an excuse. His superior took the decision to give him a week like a holiday to relax until his wedding.

Since then, he did not get out from his room, drinking a lot of alcohol and trying to forget Masaki’s image from his mind. His fiancée was worried for him, she never saw him like that and she decided to help him to stop drinking, take a shower even if she had to clean him and force Sho to eat something.

“C’mon honey, you need to be well for tomorrow” she talked softly to him.

“What happen tomorrow?” he said strangely as he searched in his mind but he was so tired that he gave up.

“Our wedding is tomorrow” she was hurt because he forgot that important date. Suddenly, a fear dag deeply into his heart and he needed his friends rather than never.

“Do you matter if I spend the night out? I have to do something so important” he stood up and looked into her brown eyes, she denied smiling and he kissed his cheek softly. “Thank you” he ran out from the room and took a shower to remove alcohol odor from his body.

He got into the car and started to drive in the middle of the night setting aside his coward for the first time in his life. His mind was racing with fears to control, feelings to put in order and words to tell as he decided to stop from being an asshole and try to fix his mistakes instead of making excuses. He could control his life finally and something was born inside of him.

He reached a block of apartments and he remembered which was the correct to ring the bell. His fears increased and he found himself asking why he was doing that. His reply was simple: I need someone.

His finger pushed the bell and he could hear a sound echoing the apartment. He waited impatiently if the time was passing so slowly. A click was produced and the door was opened to let appear a tall, thin man.

“Sho” the man called his name being so surprise and Sakurai forced himself to talk even if it was a whisper.

“I want to talk with you” his voice trembled but it came out louder enough to be heard.

“We have nothing to talk” the man went to close the door but Sho impeded it with his hands opening it full and hugging the man tightly around his neck.

“Masaki, I need you” he whispered with a knot in his throat. His eyes were crying but he did not realize it, he was only waiting his answer. Masaki was in shock but he became so weak that his arms wrapped around Sho’s waist.

“Why do you do that to me?” Masaki asked painfully feeling his heart breaking in pieces. “Your wedding is tomorrow…” he was so lost in Sho’s hug that he forgot his anger and hugged him tighter.

“Forget that. I want to spend the last night with you, like that time when we…” he was too flushed that he could not continue talking. Having asked him for a night was the craziest thing he had done in his life but it felt so good and relieved.

“What? Sho-chan, you smell like alcohol, come inside and drink water first” Masaki did not believe him because his odor but Sho was serious in his decision.

Meanwhile, both walked in the apartment and seated in the living room. Masaki brought a glass of water and gave it to Sho. “Drink” Sho drank a bit and left the glass on the table but Masaki was not satisfied. “All” Sho rolled his eyes and he drank all the water of the glass to please his friend. Aiba seated by his side no knowing what to say having forgotten his proposition.

“I was serious about spend the night together” Sho glanced him quickly to discover Aiba looking the floor between his legs.

“And you are drunk. We can’t repeat it. In that time we were young and curious, we just experimented together” his voice was bittersweet remembering how good it felt. Sho gave him a point, he was drunk but he was feeling free for first time.

“Then take it like another experiment” Sho approached Masaki wanting to place himself over him but the man just got apart suffering more than Sho thought.
“You should stop; your wedding is tomorrow…” he said but Sho approached him again no allowing him to scape and forced him to lay onto the floor as he put over him.

“Fuck the wedding. Now I only care about you” Sakurai’s lips touched his as Masaki wrapped his arms around his neck feeling so powerless to try to stop him. Both separated and the thin man denied almost laughing.

“What happens here today, it will be a mistake tomorrow, won’t it?” his words came slowly and painfully from his mouth which just kissed Sho.

“I’m sorry…” Sho hated himself a bit more when he realized that he could not cancel his wedding already. He would betray his fiancée and he would hurt his friend. He really was so selfish like Aiba said. Masaki just denied with his head and being selfish too, he kissed him hardly to continue what Sho asked.

I really loved writting it. So I hope that you'll like too ^^
It's only one part of it, but I'm not going to make it so long.
Comments to know what you think of it would be so great!
Thank you for reading >~<

Comments

[yumn-yumi.livejournal.com]

You love writing, I love to read this. ( > < )
Sadly this is only one part. I really want to know what happend with Sho's wedding. (And somehow for my imagination its like : Sho will wake up in Masaki's bed first before Masaki and gone to his wedding late just to say he will not marry that woman so he can back to Masaki)
Btw, thank you for write and sharing this ^ - ^

[beccatt34.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad that you loved it >.<
Well, I hope that I can finish the second part quickly because I late a lot XD
Thanks for comment! ♡

[istahasmasaki.livejournal.com]

hi thanks for writing. i feel bad for sho because he is forced to live a life that is "normal" and betrays his true feeling. and its unfair for aiba too..  waiting for the next chap ^^

[beccatt34.livejournal.com]

Yeah, maybe rather than writing a fic, I'm reflecting the situation of a lot of people who lives manipulated :/
Thank you for commenting! ^^