And... do you regret it? [Fic 2/?]

Title: And... do you regret it?
Pairing: Ohno Satoshi/Ninomiya Kazunari
Rating: PG
Lenght: chapter
Genre: angst, drama

Ohno had a lot of work to do opening boxes and cleaning the house. He wanted to do it slowly but his desire to see the house complete was so strong in him. Even if he tried so hard to give his best, he could only finish the bedroom.

He liked how it ended: the walls were white combining with the furniture, a big bed with a beautiful painting drawn by him on the top, a cream wardrobe aside of the windows with large and soft curtains and in the other side, there was an old desk with an amount of books stacked there and in the library situated in front of the bed.

When he felt proud of himself, he wanted to show it to some people but he had not anyone to see his room. In this case, the loneliness was hard to control and his happiness faded out. His long eyelashes blinked not to let a tear fall as he left the room. He missed a friend, his mother, someone to talk for a while, even if he could call them in the phone, it was not the same.

He reached the living room and seated in the sofa trying to control his feelings. His head turned to a side as he found the ghost looking at him interested for some reason.

“You again?” Ohno frowned and started to ignore him. At the end, it was not a nightmare, he was real.

“Well, I thought you needed to talk but if I bother you, I’m leaving…” the boy provoked Ohno so easily that he was amazed. Ninomiya smiled when Ohno stopped him and accepted to talk a while. Maybe it could seem stupid to do but there was only Ninomiya to listen him and he wanted to take advantage of that chance. Little by little, both started to talk about meaningless things which they enjoyed, the time spent together filled up their emptiness as they began to know more about each other.

Ohno did not feel talking with a ghost, Ninomiya could be as human as he with feelings, likes and worries, only a real body was the different between them.

The boy was a help to handle his loneliness and they talked each day more becoming friends in short time. Ohno did sometimes not talk so much but he could feel how someone was there with him at least. That was comforting because when he needed some type of advice, Nino was so good in thinking one.

In other hand, having the ghost near was funny too, Ninomiya liked to scare him a lot of times and see how Ohno wanted to punch him as he was unable to do it. They ended laughing like if they had always been together, if they know each other for a long time, if they had a special connection.

During that time, Ohno thought that he was a little crazy but he fixed it with time. It was even relaxing to be with Ninomiya chatting a bit or laughing by his side of something stupid. He liked it, he really liked not knowing the reason. When he returned to home, a greeted was always said to the ghost and a reply was given to him. Deep in his heart, something was glad to have met the boy.

He was not sure if the ghost thought the same about him but his mind realized that Ninomiya was kinder than the first night he spent there. Ninomiya was a good boy, so distrustful but so nice and funny. Ohno really liked that part of him because when he had a bad day, cheering him up was easy for the boy who did it a lot of times without a request by Ohno’s part.

After thinking it a lot of times, Ohno –who never doubted to do something- found his courage to ask the boy a question which was bothering him for the 2 months he had been living there.

“Nino” he called him like the boy told him once. “Why do you always support me if you don’t know me at all?” their eyes met as they were sitting on the floor in front of each other. Nino pouted a little as he was thinking in it and Ohno started to be impatient.

“I’m bored” he answered simply and his face revealed no expression to figure out. Ohno could hardly trust his words. How can a person help other so much because he is bored? Even if his face said nothing, his eyes reflected a strange brightness which made Ohno more curious.

“And can’t it be that you don’t like to see me bad?” Ohno analysed his reaction and behaviour and it was like he predicted. Nino looked away and his body was clearer to see because he was accumulating too much energy as Nino told him once –“I haven’t a heart to feel my emotions, but my energy defines how I am in that moment, if I’m transparent means that I’m relaxed, no feelings are inside me, but if I’m more opaque than unusual means that I’m feeling something so strong”-. Ohno was amazed because Nino could be misunderstanding with a real person.

“That’s not true” he only spoke those words which sounded so coldly and regret appeared inside of Ohno but it did not stop him to provoke the boy until finding the truth.

“And then why are you so opaque now?” he was sure that Nino was hiding something related with him and he wanted to know it at all costs.

“Can you shut up?!” the boy shouted and Ohno could feel a fear running through his veins as the lights started to blink frenetically. The owner looked around him not knowing what to do and when his gaze returned to Nino, he was not there. After a few seconds of that, the lights settled finally but he could feel the boy near, he was nearer than he thought because the boy was watching him since a corner until he could calm himself.

Ohno’s words hurt him for some reason, the truth that Nino did not want to accept was spoken and his mind needed to rethink why he was like that if he had always been so cold and ruthless with others not caring about their feelings. The man could read what he was thinking and Nino could not let it happen because otherwise he would be naked in front of someone who had the power to hurt him whenever he wanted.

How was he so carefree with Ohno? He committed a mistake and there was only one option to go back when both meant nothing for each other, or at least for him. It would hurt, he knew it but that was the price he had to pay for being a friend with a human.

 

Days after, Nino did not appear around Ohno and the man’s loneliness increased a lot making his time a torture which never ended. Sometimes he walked in the house calling his name but no one replied. His friend vanished since the last time and his regrets were killing his awareness slowly.

Why did it hurt him so much if Nino was only a ghost? Ohno had to admit that it did not matter what Nino was, the boy brought him a good memories and moments to remember in a future. But he got used to find him when he returned of work or when he woke up. Thinking it coldly, Nino was always by his side watching what he was doing or waiting for him. Ohno realized that he was someone so important to Nino and he hurt him with his stupid, selfish questions. He needed to fix it because he could feel the boy by his side but no more than a sense was there.

“Nino, I want to fix what I said the other day, I’m sorry for that, I talked too much and I’m sure I hurt you. I’m really sorry, can you come back?” he started to talk in the middle of the room and he did not care how crazy he could seem, he wanted Nino back. He waited talking more and more, he knew that the boy was there so he had to use that chance. “I want you back because I’m lonely without you, please” even if Ohno did not realized what he said, Nino was totally amazed.

“You are so selfish” a whisper was told to Ohno in his ear, a fear was blocked by a sense of relieve for talking again with him. “You want me only not to feel lonely…” his voice echoed his ears and a shiver travelled his spine.

“That’s not true, I’m missing you” his sincerity was uncovered abruptly and Nino made himself visible. Ohno approached the boy but Nino made a step backwards.

“How can you miss a ghost?” his eyes were full of pain and Ohno could notice how broke the boy was. A huge desire to hug him grew inside of him but it would be useless, his body would pierce Nino’s.

“Because you became someone important in my life, you are my friend” Nino’s jaw was trembling controlling his desire to cry, after so many years feeling nothing, Ohno was making that Nino started to trust someone finally.

“Satoshi…” his name was almost inaudible and Ohno stepped forwards to try what he wanted to do. His hand was raised and he attempted to touch his cheek. The hand pierced the silhouette like if he was only a hologram and Ohno felt a pain in his heart, so hard and unknown. He was sure about what was going to happen but until he did not check it like truthiness, his mind could not assimilate it as such. “I’m a ghost, please don’t forget it” Ninomiya smiled trying to only remember the part where Ohno wanted to touch him and not in which the life-death limits took part. His body became invisible again; he was sure that Ohno did not need a stupid boy by his side to be happy. Even if that apartment had been his house for so long, it was time to leave it and pass the Light. But as always, it did not matter how much he desired it, he could not find it.

Ninomiya was hearing his friend shouting his name to came back and talk. Ohno did not give up. He shouted again and again his name “Kazunari!” but the boy rejected the option to stay longer there. Ninomiya had never felt so much pain in his chest even when he had a real heart. He wondered why he was feeling that, that pain which appeared inside him every time Ohno was by his side. It was horrible to feel; more horrible than living his last life.

“Why can’t you shut up and forget me?!” Ninomiya appeared suddenly shouting Ohno who was still in the centre of the room watching how the boy was totally opaque.

“Do you really want that?” a tear fell.

“Being with you is the worst thing which could happen to me” a heart was broken.

“Understood”

 

How could I say that?

I hope that this chapter is more interested than the first, now they started to know each other nee?
Like always, comments are welcomed!
Thanks for reading ^^